Back to SEEK I go.

So I aced my trial today. But I turned down the job. It was 4-5 days a week, long days. If I want to maintain my 6.5 GPA (or improve it) then that just isn't gonna work for me. I want maybe 2-3 days, max. So pretty disappointed, but when I take a step back and think about it, it's not really my kinda job anyway. About 60-70% of the job is putting people on hold to speak to other people. That's not how I work. I'm the kinda person who wants to deal with the problem straight away, and myself. That's why Video Ezy would have been great had it not been for the boss, the coworkers and the customers. The job description is exactly what I like. I did everything - ordering, returns, customer service, banking, merchandising, handling complaints. I like it that way. Either that, or if I have to be an underling, menial work like stacking shelves. So perhaps reception isn't my thing. I think that sadly, retail is my thing. That's pretty lame, if you ask me. But whatever.

Also, I'm having a movie night alone tonight, because the two people I messaged to see what they were doing tonight didn't bother replying. Thanks guys.

There's a first time for everything.

I just dropped a subject for the first time in my life. The plan was to switch to trimesters next year, and study two subjects per trimester. The plan has failed. Most of my subjects aren't offered in third 'semester' (a term which doesn't even make sense). So I'll be doing three subjects per semester instead. I'm also going to do three subjects in this year's third 'semester', which goes over the Christmas holiday period. That way, I only have to do one extra semester at the end. I was going to do the full four subjects this semester but I'm feeling incredibly overwhelmed by the work load on top of trying to find a job and barely being able to afford to eat. It's hard to study on an empty stomach, even if the emptiness is not of food as a whole but of vitamins and nutrients. Of which I am getting zero, I swear. I feel like crap thanks to my current state of poverty. Bleh.

On the upside, I have a trial tomorrow for that job. I plan to be awesome and get the position. I must, I must, I must increase my...bank balance.

But It Gets So Complicated, Everyone, I Fucking Hate It.

I had a job interview today. I really want this job. It's a casual reception position at Computer Alliance, which is so beyond perfect for me I can't even express it properly. The interviewer, who is the financial manager there (and hilariously knows absolutely nothing about computers) was really nice and down to earth. They're very flexible, the pay is great and it would mean not requiring any more job interviews. I'll be getting a call tomorrow to find out if I get a trial on Friday. They did 8 interviews today and they'll trial 3 people. The successful applicant starts Monday. I'm crossing my fingers so hard they just might break.

As for uni, I'm finding it hard to be motivated. Halfway through second week and I'm already falling behind. I have to work harder but it's a real struggle. I hope I get better at this. I'm changing to trimesters after this semester though. I only have to do 6 subjects a year to qualify as full-time and get my full Centrelink payments, so I'll be doing 2 subjects a trimester. Means pretty much zero holidays but I don't care. If I want a week off then I just have to work harder the week before or after. No big deal. Hopefully that will mean awesome grades and plenty of shifts at work.

My parents have gone all Renovation Rescue. On our rental house. It's quite odd. They're doing up one of the rooms for Ben at the moment - stripped the wallpaper, now they're painting. It looks great but I can't help but feel like they're wasting their time. At some point, they'll have to move out of this house. Leave all that hard work behind. People confuse me.

The Near Future

I'm going to apply for jobs on Monday. I am so sick of sitting around doing nothing. This past week has almost driven me crazy. I've been randomly bursting into tears or fits of rage. I threw something at a wall and it smashed simply because it wouldn't work. I'm not prone to that kind of behavior at all. Uni also starts on Monday but I doubt any lectures will be up in the morning. It'll be better once that kicks off but as I'm now studying externally I don't think it will take up that much time. Travel time for a start will save me hours every week. I'm also REALLY sick of being completely and utterly broke, and I REALLY want to get a car. So job time it is! I'm shockingly excited about working again, once I get past the newbie part. I absolutely hate being new at anything. I hate not knowing what I'm doing, whether it be a new job, a new game or a first date. I really hate that feeling. But it will be so great to have money again, for more than half the fortnight, and to be able to save for a vehicle. Dad's back in two weeks so once I get me an automobile he can teach me to drive. I'll be a pro, I'm awesome at it in my dreams/games.

I'm half super excited about this course and half dreading it. It's exactly the kind of course that interests me and sounds far more like what I was expecting from uni than the Griffith one. At the same time, studying blows. Like, really badly. I basically have to read the entire textbook for Anthropology. That should be loads of fun. I also have to read four novels for English Lit, which would be great if they weren't books by unknown Australians. I want to read classics! Famous books by famous authors! Ugh. I just have to get through this subject and then it will improve.

That's all I'm going to write for now folks. My fingers are frozen and typing is just taking forever.

Ecstatic

I feel incredibly lucky lately. There's only one reason though. Jessica and I are back to having the perfect friendship that we'd built before all the shit happened. In the last fortnight I've spent 7 nights at her house. Every tiny morsel of awkwardness has dissipated. She's no longer my ex. She's no longer the girl who's furious at me because I bailed on her. She's the best friend I've ever had again. I don't think anything could have made me happier. I spent months worrying about our friendship. First worrying that it could never be the same after trying the relationship thing, and then that she would never be able to completely forgive me. Sometimes, being wrong is the greatest thing in the world. We are proof that turning a friendship into a relationship doesn't always destroy the friendship. That said, I think we have one of the strongest bonds I have ever encountered. Most friendships wouldn't have survived what ours has. Especially taking into account our mental issues. I think if you put our issues together in one person, they'd have to be institutionalized. Anyway, basically I'm super happy.

I did run into a tree and I did get poked in the eye with a stick tonight though. That sucked.

And I am hungry. And I don't want to get out of bed because it's cold. Dilemma.