So I figured out why I'm unhappy.
Everyone around me is achieving something.
Going to uni.
Starting a career.
Writing a book.
What am I doing? Working in a video store.
I'm doing nothing. And yes, I do realise that's ok.
That's the point of a gap year.
But I feel completely useless.
Gah. At the same time, I don't want to do anything.
I'm enjoying the nothing way too much.
This all makes no sense.
STUPID STUPID BRAIN!
Also, still really lonely. And therefore pathetic.
UGH UGH UGH. At myself. Bleh.
Everyone around me is achieving something.
Going to uni.
Starting a career.
Writing a book.
What am I doing? Working in a video store.
I'm doing nothing. And yes, I do realise that's ok.
That's the point of a gap year.
But I feel completely useless.
Gah. At the same time, I don't want to do anything.
I'm enjoying the nothing way too much.
This all makes no sense.
STUPID STUPID BRAIN!
Also, still really lonely. And therefore pathetic.
UGH UGH UGH. At myself. Bleh.
It feels good to know why you're upset, right? Like now there is a reason.
ReplyDeleteYou'll be going to uni too. You're just deferring. You'll still be achieving something. And we're not achieving, we're attempting to get somewhere, and that doesn't always work out.
I'm thinking, if uni keeps going the way it is, I'll drop out.
Don't swae the small stuff. You could volunteer for something. That will help your soul. Donate blood with me!
you start uni
ReplyDeletetwo weeks on
you want to leave
enjoy the freedom
whileit lasts old lady
(y)