But It Gets So Complicated, Everyone, I Fucking Hate It.

I had a job interview today. I really want this job. It's a casual reception position at Computer Alliance, which is so beyond perfect for me I can't even express it properly. The interviewer, who is the financial manager there (and hilariously knows absolutely nothing about computers) was really nice and down to earth. They're very flexible, the pay is great and it would mean not requiring any more job interviews. I'll be getting a call tomorrow to find out if I get a trial on Friday. They did 8 interviews today and they'll trial 3 people. The successful applicant starts Monday. I'm crossing my fingers so hard they just might break.

As for uni, I'm finding it hard to be motivated. Halfway through second week and I'm already falling behind. I have to work harder but it's a real struggle. I hope I get better at this. I'm changing to trimesters after this semester though. I only have to do 6 subjects a year to qualify as full-time and get my full Centrelink payments, so I'll be doing 2 subjects a trimester. Means pretty much zero holidays but I don't care. If I want a week off then I just have to work harder the week before or after. No big deal. Hopefully that will mean awesome grades and plenty of shifts at work.

My parents have gone all Renovation Rescue. On our rental house. It's quite odd. They're doing up one of the rooms for Ben at the moment - stripped the wallpaper, now they're painting. It looks great but I can't help but feel like they're wasting their time. At some point, they'll have to move out of this house. Leave all that hard work behind. People confuse me.

The Near Future

I'm going to apply for jobs on Monday. I am so sick of sitting around doing nothing. This past week has almost driven me crazy. I've been randomly bursting into tears or fits of rage. I threw something at a wall and it smashed simply because it wouldn't work. I'm not prone to that kind of behavior at all. Uni also starts on Monday but I doubt any lectures will be up in the morning. It'll be better once that kicks off but as I'm now studying externally I don't think it will take up that much time. Travel time for a start will save me hours every week. I'm also REALLY sick of being completely and utterly broke, and I REALLY want to get a car. So job time it is! I'm shockingly excited about working again, once I get past the newbie part. I absolutely hate being new at anything. I hate not knowing what I'm doing, whether it be a new job, a new game or a first date. I really hate that feeling. But it will be so great to have money again, for more than half the fortnight, and to be able to save for a vehicle. Dad's back in two weeks so once I get me an automobile he can teach me to drive. I'll be a pro, I'm awesome at it in my dreams/games.

I'm half super excited about this course and half dreading it. It's exactly the kind of course that interests me and sounds far more like what I was expecting from uni than the Griffith one. At the same time, studying blows. Like, really badly. I basically have to read the entire textbook for Anthropology. That should be loads of fun. I also have to read four novels for English Lit, which would be great if they weren't books by unknown Australians. I want to read classics! Famous books by famous authors! Ugh. I just have to get through this subject and then it will improve.

That's all I'm going to write for now folks. My fingers are frozen and typing is just taking forever.

Ecstatic

I feel incredibly lucky lately. There's only one reason though. Jessica and I are back to having the perfect friendship that we'd built before all the shit happened. In the last fortnight I've spent 7 nights at her house. Every tiny morsel of awkwardness has dissipated. She's no longer my ex. She's no longer the girl who's furious at me because I bailed on her. She's the best friend I've ever had again. I don't think anything could have made me happier. I spent months worrying about our friendship. First worrying that it could never be the same after trying the relationship thing, and then that she would never be able to completely forgive me. Sometimes, being wrong is the greatest thing in the world. We are proof that turning a friendship into a relationship doesn't always destroy the friendship. That said, I think we have one of the strongest bonds I have ever encountered. Most friendships wouldn't have survived what ours has. Especially taking into account our mental issues. I think if you put our issues together in one person, they'd have to be institutionalized. Anyway, basically I'm super happy.

I did run into a tree and I did get poked in the eye with a stick tonight though. That sucked.

And I am hungry. And I don't want to get out of bed because it's cold. Dilemma.

Girls Night?

This weekend just gone was the best I've had in ages, and life has been good, so that's saying something. Karli came over on Friday night and we had a ball, just playing video games and being losers. I love hanging out with her because she totally gets me and everything that I'm into, which is hard to find when you're me. Haha. We played Army of Two for about 4 hours, and she's coming over again this weekend to play some more because it's pretty awesome. Then on Saturday I saw my Jessica for the first time in over three months. Nearly cried when I saw her - pretty sure we hugged for about ten minutes. I missed her so much. It was so great, all the awkwardness was completely gone and we kept spontaneously hugging. Watched the HILARIOUS dvd of her being hypnotised in one of those stage shows - funniest thing I've ever seen. Played Lips for hours. Good times :) hopefully will be seeing her again soon. Sure as hell don't ever wanna go that long without seeing her again.

Two exams this week and then I'm free for five! Hurrah! And then I start a course with subjects I actually want to do. I'm so looking forward to that - goodbye, journalism and criminology, you useless pieces of crap. I just hope I'm cut out for external studies. Should be okay though - I'm pretty motivated when I actually want to do the work. Unfortunately, for my exam week I have a cold and my period. Yeah, totally wanting to go to exams now...NOT.

I didn't really have a lot to say, just that I'm super happy after seeing Jess and I'm looking forward to another "girls night" with Karli, hahahahaha. Yeah, super girly.

I Love Daniel Jackson

Currently procrastinating. I'm really over criminology. Probably would be a whole lot less painful had I read the chapters each week instead of leaving them till now, but I take no blame! It's all criminology's fault. Bleh. The exam is tomorrow afternoon and I still have five or six chapters to read. So, intelligently and like the good little student I am, I decided I'd go to my cousin's tonight for Origin and Guitar Hero. Credit or lower, here I come!

I forgot how rewarding friendships can be. I became extremely solitary and hermit-like for quite a while, and I just recently began rebuilding friendships. Downside - social life is sucking all my funds. Lol. Being a loner = having plenty of cash. Ah well. I just have to learn that I don't need to buy something every time I go shopping - which was four times in the last fortnight. Bad Tara. Bad.

I've almost sort of nearly decided that I'm going to do the NZ program through ISV in the 2011-12 program instead of Costa Rica. The program costs are the same, but instead of my flights costing about $3300, they'll be $600-700. Slightly better, haha. I'll go to Costa Rica when I'm rich. Which is totally going to happen. With all my career aspirations and everything...

Speaking of, I never ever want to leave this uni lifestyle. I LOVE life now! I have so much free time, it's ridiculous, because fortunately I don't have to study really hard to get good marks. I'm not being up myself, it's just how it is - I retain information pretty easily. Once I've learned it, I usually don't have to revise it. So I have loads of time to see friends, read, play video games, watch movies, go for walks, play with my brother and my cat. It's awesome. Also, I love learning :) and I've always been jealous of those people with loads of degrees in different fields. Maybe I could be one of them. Maybe I could be Daniel Jackson and be this amazing archaeologist and travel to other planets and be adorable. Ah Daniel Jackson. Really I have no idea what to do with my life, hahahaha. Hopefully I'll marry a wonderful rich man. Fingers crossed.

Dad is now staying in Melbourne probably till Christmas. Which sucks. But Bec made him promise to come up every second weekend. This is why I need to marry rich - I never want to have to be separated because of money.

Party and others

I'm going to a party tonight. I think I've forgotten how to party, lol. I have no idea what I'm walking into. I don't drink either. It should be funny though. Just sitting there watching everyone look like morons. I did decide to socialise more. I think this is my punishment :P Bianca will be there too. Leasha, who's birthday party it is, warned me as though I'd change my mind about going. The thing is, I don't mind seeing Bianca. It's Bianca who can't stand me. She'll have to deal with it though, she can go home and bitch about me in her blog and then move to Melbourne haha. I can't believe she just isn't getting over it. We weren't dating, you know. Geez.

I also just discovered that my single Anthropology textbook is going to cost $20 more than my four English Lit novels put together. That seems a little ridiculous. A textbook, full of facts that are just compiled for easy reference, should not cost over four times the price of a work of fiction, created by someone completely from their own mind and probably put together over a year or more of hard work. I've watched someone write a novel, and it was intense. Textbook prices are bullshit. I am definitely not saying charge more for fiction, because then I couldn't buy as many books as I do. But stop over-charging so ridiculously for textbooks. You assholes.

I've lost all motivation to study for my tests. This semester now won't count, since I had to do pointless subjects due to my late enrolment. The last essay I handed in today is the worst essay I've ever written. It was very hard for me to hand that in, haha. But I just couldn't motivate myself to work hard on something that didn't matter. Sigh. So stupid.

Wish me luck for the party, folks.

Mild Case of Insomnia

I have to go to court tomorrow and give evidence about being held up with a knife at my throat. This happened almost a year ago. Within two months of the incident, I had managed to push the majority of the details out of my brain. On top of that, I had so many dreams (or perhaps nightmares is a better term) about it that I'm not entirely sure which memories are facts anymore. I just want it to be this time tomorrow and for the whole ordeal to be over. I don't want to relive it, and I don't want to make a fool of myself when I can't answer the questions either. Or if I contradict my statement.

My eyes are burning but as soon as I close them I'm wide awake. I think it's going to be a long night. The only thing I feel like watching is Stargate and I just finished the third season. I have to go to the video store to get season four. Potentially I could go now, they're still open for another 40 minutes. But it's cold out there and I really can't be bothered walking. Although it might help me sleep. I don't know.

Side note which is actually far more important in my life but isn't stopping me from sleeping, Dad is moving back up here. He and Bec (mainly Bec) couldn't handle the separation. I figured that would happen - I know I couldn't do long distance, and they have a kid to raise. So in a selfish way I'm happy, because I miss my Dad. But I'm also disappointed because he loves that job and now they'll probably both have to work and put Ben in fulltime childcare. I hope my life works out easier than theirs has, although with a degree in English Literature, it's not highly likely.